No one important
This post was first published on 10 May 2012. I’m not an active user of Twitter these days. Not like I was a couple of years ago. I just pop in to see what’s going on, then pop out.
The other day, someone I knew said I wasn’t important. He didn’t say it to me directly. He said it to the Twitterverse, but I knew he was talking about me. It saddened me greatly, because this was a person I counted as a friend. He had helped me, and I had helped him. We laughed about life and discussed love, and he told me I had integrity. I thought he did too…
The reason our friendship ended – I think – was because he became involved with someone. I was happy for him, because he was looking for love. But it also meant that he drifted away: I hadn’t seen him for months. I tried to catch up, but there were excuses and cancellations and no-shows. There is a wise saying to which I adhere in these situations: don’t make someone your priority, when they aren’t prepared to make you theirs. I got the message – loud and clear – that I was not his priority. It seemed I wasn’t even on his radar anymore!
This week, I reached out one last time – on Twitter – and was disappointed – again – that I heard nothing back of substance. So I unfollowed him. Quietly and without a fuss. And he saw (everyone has Push notifications set up these days), and to other followers commented, among other things, that I was no one important. And unfollowed me just as quickly.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he decided that I’m someone he no longer wanted in his circle of friends. It’s not like we were even that close in the scheme of things. I would have been fine with that, but it would have been nice to know. I wouldn’t have even needed a reason: “I’m just not that into our friendship anymore” would have sufficed. I would have said ok, and left it at that. A quick painless death is much better than the slippery, spiky slope into friendship oblivion.
Maybe he was hurt that I unfollowed him, and retaliated with words. I get that. I’m not above doing that myself on the odd occasion. But to see that you are not considered important by someone you liked, trusted and respected, well, that’s the deepest cut of all. It hurt.