“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” – Mark Twain
I have been doing a quite a but of soul searching of late. I’ve been thinking about who I have in my life, and why and how, and I’m starting to scale back.
And a lot of this scaling back is based on the Mark Twain’s quote. I’m thinking about whom I’ve made a priority, and whether that person has reciprocated, and made me theirs.
It’s about making decisions around, for example, how inclusive a person is in involving me in his or her life. Am I the one doing the organising of social events, or the asking to various activities? Am I the one making all the effort? Does that person make me feel less than wonderful? Do I feel used? etc. etc.
If the answer is yes to all, then it is clear that I am not a priority to that person and the relationship (such that it is) is based on false pretences. And that person needs to be eased out of my life, or kept very much on the periphery.
That is not to say that I am keeping mental checks and balances, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want an emotional return on investment. Life’s too short to be spending it with people who suck you dry.